I have arrived!!!
I have arrived. As a Self-Proclaimed Sports Guru, I decided I needed a sounding base just to bounce totally meaningless shit off of. Yes, I know I ended a sentence with a preposition but fuck it!!! The reality of this blog is that I'm going to try to post something funny or relevant daily or thereabouts. Like Becka said, it's a place to sharpen my pen skillz. Not that I have some skillz but hey, you never know.Anyways, there needs to be some kind of law about being that damn good in the kitchen. I'm not one to toot my own horn but I think once in a while everyone should let their ego run free for a second or two. I grilled up steak and potatoes, and whipped to together a caesar's salad. The salad was somewhat of a bitch because there were WAY too many wrappers on all the packaged stuff. So I took the easy route and got the packaged stuff. Sue me! As I was making the marinade, I had to use soy sauce. I got to thinking about Lewis Black's dissertation about Soy Milk. I think Black had a point when he said "there is no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. There is no soy milk coming from a soy titty." Absolutely brilliant. However, does that mean that soy juice would be soy sauce? Or do you combine soy juice with water and get soy sauce? I noticed on the label that it was "naturally brewed" too. Hmmm....does that mean one takes soybeans and boils them to get soy juice or soy sauce? Do you carry around a packet or a pouch of soy and you add it to boiling water to get soy sauce kind of like coffee? Someone answer me these questions.
While I'm at it, why at our local groccery store do they only have ONE kind of Caesar's salad dressing? Is it really that tough to only have Crushed Garlic Caesar's Dressing but nothing else? I mean there's only 91734987501298 kind of ranch dressing, not to mention both styles of Italian. Add the oodles and oodles of brands and I'm still stuck with fucking crushed garlic in my caesar's salad dressing. This wouldn't be such an issue but when you make one of these packaged deals, there's only 4 dribbles of dressing for the salad. Granted one doesn't have to have their salad swimming in dressing because that would be foolish. But if I just wanted lettuce and croutons, dude, I would have just bought both seperately. I'm not a freaking rabbit.
Dammit, I was going to go shoot at those little gray bullets known as doves, but A) this took too long, and B) the rain probably made the fields a sloppy, slimy mess. Maybe I'll go study. Fuck that. Okay, I'm out like a blind kid in laser tag.
posted by Rusty @ 5:23 PM
Comments: 2
