Master of the Flying Guillotine
Ever see a movie that was so awful that you couldn't pull your eyes away from it?And I'm not talking just a one time where you see part of it and say "That's really bad." I'm talking about the type of movie that you see and say "Wow. That's really awful. That could be one of the worst movies I've ever seen."
But it doesn't stop there. It's kind of like a car accident involving circus freaks and monkeys. You just can't pull your eyes away from it.
So you determine it's possible one of the worst pieces of cinematic crap ever made. However, it happens to be on one of the movie channels again, so like a moth to a bright light you turn it on for just pure entertainment purposes.
The movie I'm talking about is "Master of the Flying Guillotine." The name itself should lend itself to its credibility of how truly awful it is. It is, in fact, a horribley dubbed kung-fu fighting movie involving two principle characters, the One-Armed Boxer and the Blind Man.
The One-Armed Boxer killed two of the Blind Man's students and now the Blind Man is out for revenge. There were some type of internationl politics involved as the OAB is some type of revolutionary against the current dynasty. I didn't get the gist of it as the movie seemed to be set in the late 1800's. There could have even been a political message involved but it was lost amidst the horrendous dubbing of English. Anyways, the Blind Man wields the most dangerous weapon known to martial artists, the Flying Guillotine.
Yes, sports fans, this is a device that is attached to a chain and looks like a large red mushroom. The Flying Guillotine is thrown at a person's head. When the mushroom part makes contact with the intended target's head, a mesh like helmet drops from the mushroom part, encasing the target's head. Concealed within this helmet are razor blade and with a swift flick of the wrist, the Flying Guillotine slice the head clean off. The weapon has a sound effect much like that of a gunshot ringing out from a Clint Eastwood spaghetti western, complete with the Old West Echo. Truly spine tingling.
The Blind man himself is the bad guy of the movie, complete with Bad Guy theme music. Wherever he goes, his theme music accompanies him. It's heavy duty, almost cheesey 70's industrial techno letting you know that the character on screen in fact is the Baddest of the Bad Guys.
The OAB lost his arm somehow. Whether he was the victim of a tragic farming accident or lost it in a fight with the 7 men he killed with one blow, the reason wasn't specified. Like a fighting video game, when the time is right, the OAB can call on his spirit to deliver the one blow that can kill his opponent, (usually a blow to the chest.)
I'm not going to get into the concepts of the tournament, or the fact that the Blind man can move his head all the way around to listen for his opponent. Yes it's truly that bad.
This is the type of movie that you watch and then you call your friends to tell them to come over to see this so they can believe it for themselves. Then all of your friends bask in the agony that is this film. What films fall into this category?
Oh yeah, it is and it has a sequel.
posted by Rusty @ 5:30 PM
Comments: 1
