Dreams
Last night was the night of dreams. I guess my mind wasn't ready to recover from yesterday's events. Of course, nothing really earth shattering happened either, so I'm not sure why I went to bed with my mind working overdrive.The one dream I do remember was that I was in the living room with my mother, Jarrett, his wife Jennifer and the Fish. Jen and mom were sitting at the table in the dining room, Jar was chilling on the couch and I was laying on the floor. The door creaked open because of a draft causing Jen to say "Wow this house is drafty."
"It's not drafty,"I said. "The ghost just came home." She gave me a Rusty-you're-such-a-smartass look, (which if anyone can imgaine, I receive all the time.) That caused me to sit up with my mind running at nearly the speed of sound while my mouth tried to keep up. The first order of business was to shut the door. I crawled over on my knees to the door but instead of closing it, I screamed and threw myself out on the porch. I came back inside a moment later, accidentally made eye contact with Jarrett which caused him to bust out laughing.
"See Jen, the ghost got me," I said. By now her gaze had turned from the smartass look to the Thermonuclear Glare of Death. Too bad for her, I am immune to it as the TGOD would melt any other mortal man.
"No, seriously we have a ghost in the house," I said. "This house was built in 1932. Back then the owner of the house had some serious mental problems and he hung himself from the ceiling in the dining room." I was churning out the story which was causing Jarrett to stifle laughter.
"Yeah," Jar said. "He had issues from painting septic tanks with toxic white paint." I turned to Jarrett with an incredulous look on my face because now I had to work that information into my story.
"Jar's right," I said. " When the moon is right, you can smell paint and see a shadowy form hanging from the ceiling." At that point, Jarrett couldn't take it anymore and promptly had to cover his head in a pillow to keep from laughing. I could see Jen mulling it over in her head whether or not to believe me because at times, my stories, however outlandish are true.
"Jen don't listen to them," Mom said. "There isn't a ghost in here."
"Dammit!!" I yelled. "Why did you go and spoil it? She almost believed me." At that point, I started laughing, which made Jarrett laugh harder. I turned to Jarrett and said "Septic tanks? Dude, you've got some serious issues. You need professional help because you're fucked in the head."
And then I awoke. Something's got to change before I go to bed.
posted by Rusty @ 5:56 AM
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