Wednesday
And I haven't updated? I better get on it or Becka will put some type of mexican joke on here without my knowing.We've got new neighbors. They made their presence known on Saturday and all I can think is that they're related someway to OSL. They have to be. My mother was on the phone in the backyard enjoying the day when Maureen came over.
"Are you on the phone?" Yes, she seriously asked this question. No, mom thought. I just like holding the receiver to my ear whenever I get the chance. Mom nodded which apparently is a sign to continue trying to have a conversation with someone who does not want to be a conversatee. Maureen kept talking, forcing the person that Mom was on the phone with to hang up.
"What's your name?" she asked.
"I'm Kathy." Mom replied.
"Katie?"
"No. Kathy." At this point, Joey was out wandering around the yard when he came up. That distracted her enough.
"That's a nice dawg. Is he a poodle?" I'm not sure becuase I was sleeping but I think even Joey was offended. "I like dawgs. We can't have no dawg. Do you ever need a setter for him?"
"A setter?" Mom asked.
"Yeah, a setter," Maureen said. Dad was outside by now and he even asked what a setter was.
"Yeah, you know, a bayybee setter for your dawg." Yes, she was about six sheets to the wind at this point. The gist of the conversation was that Maureen and her roomie had just moved to town. The roomie, whom I hadn't had the pleasure of meeting yet, was on disability, and Maureen was trying to get on it as well.
Anyways, she ended up asking Mom's name about three times. This was on Saturday.
Monday, I got home and there is a guy outside standing on the sidewalk that goes between our house and the house next door. I just nod at him because I didn't want to disturb the phone call being that I'm fairly considerate. At about 6 oclock, I'm beckoned upstairs. Standing in the living room, is the guy, a grizzled little man about 5-8 and a grizzled woman, both in their 60's I'd guess, both lacking most of their front teeth.
Mom says to them as i'm bounding up the stairs "Rusty knows about that sort of thing."
SHIT, I thought, what did she just get me into? The guy tells me a slightly garbled account of how they're trying to get digital cable but it doesn't work, and they were told to wait 20 minutes and everything looked right, and that their cell phones don't work in the basement. So I shoot mom the Thermonuclear Glare of Death and trot over to their place.
Yes, everything looked right, but something was wrong with the signal as the box wouldn't load itself. I even spent 16 minutes on hold with Cox to try to talk with them. While i'm on hold, Joanne is trying to talk to me.
"What do youuuu do?"
"I go to college."
"Oh yeahhh, acrosst the street?"
"Um, actually I go to Wichita State."
"Awheatshocker" the guy pipes up.
"Yes, I'm a shocker," I say.
"Your phone works in the basement?" This must not have been evident as I standing there holding it to my ear.
"Yes it does."
"Do you know a lot about them electronics?"
"No, I don't."
"Do you know a lot about car speakers?" What part of me not knowing anything about electronics did she not get?
"No. I don't know anything about car speakers."
"Oh, what do you want to be when you get dun with skool?"
It took all of my self control to not blurt out "Employed." But I held off and said I wanted to be a journalist. And mind you, i'm still on hold.
Then came the question.
"Dooo youuuu drinnnk?" Red Alert!! Red Alert!! All kinds of warning bells were going off in my head. So I did the natural thing and lied through my teeth.
"No."
"Ohhhhhhh."
It turns out that something was wrong with the signal. The cable company's phone died a horrible death too, as it cut me off. I just said to unplug it all, then try again in the morning. I thought "Well RJ, you won't have to deal with them anymore."
This morning I'm about to pull out of the driveway and head down to classes when here comes Maureen. SHIT, I thought.
"Where are the mailboxes for these houses?"
"Over there down the street a bit," I pointed to the cluster boxes that sit about 100 yards away. "Oh," she said. "How do they get the mail? Are there addresses on them or are them numbers?"
"They are by numbers."
"Oh, what's our number?" WTF? How am I supposed to know YOUR number.
"I don't know. I would go to the post office and talk to them."
"Oh. Okay thanks for your help."
"Sure" I smiled showing my full set of teeth and off to school I went.
How much alcohol must one consume on a daily basis to slow oneself down that much? I don't know. But watching that in action, makes me think that my drinking every once in a while wasn't all that bad.
posted by Rusty @ 1:38 PM
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