And so it goes
It's 10:20 as I sit here and write this post. For the most part, I had some good times this weekend. That being said, however, my stress level has been bordering on dangerous all weekend. For anyone that knows me, I don't get stressed out very often.
That's in part to my Texas Grandmother showing up. My sister left her apartment for three days to "camp"with her boyfriend and his friends so she wouldn't have to deal with the grandmother. It's horrible to say, but she's the most judgemental person I have ever known. In her mind, she has been the perfect Christian woman all of her life.
But, she sits in judgment of others, and she holds grudges. The most recent example is that she was rooting around through newspaper clippings my mom had from my late great aunt's house. In what was a fiendish burst of creativity, Mom gave her the clippings to keep her occupied. So she's diggind through these clippings and finds one about my late uncle being named a National Merit Scholarship Finalist or some shit like that.
Anyways, that prompted a rather long winded rant about the counselor at that high school. According to her, it was the counselor's fault that my other uncle, (my dad's middle brother) was not a Merit Scholar. I guess the story goes that my uncle had been scoring in the 99th percentile on all those retarded standardized tests when all of the sudden he scored in the 83rd. Well, granma just knew that wasn't right. Later, a newspaper article claimed that the test was scored wrong. But instead of rectifying the wrong, the counselor did nothing but "sit there and knit." Now, the kicker is that my uncle never cared if he was named a National Merit Scholar or not. In fact, I'm pretty sure that there aren't a lot of potential employers that base their decision to higher someone on if the hiree was a merit scholar or not. I guess when it's all said and done, it's all about the fact that she wants recognition. She wants her family to be recognized, but with that recognition, somewhere, she believes that she deserves some of the credit.
I hate to say it, but my sister was right in the respect that she actually brings out the worst in us because her "Never been wrong in her life" attitude wears on us, her "I'm the greatest Christian ever, Look at what I've done in church" views push us to the breaking limit and her obsession with exactly how wonderful her side of the family is just kills us.
Anyways, she's gone and I can relax without the aid of alcohol.
Even More Letters
Dear People Who Drive Down the Street With Their Brights On,
QUIT IT!! There has not ever been a deer related accident IN our small town. The only thing you insensitive pricks are doing is successfully blinding me which eventually will cause a major accident as I will try to drive over you. And yes, I will win that battle.
Sincerely,
Rusty
Dear Blake,
Dude, if you even try to drop to B class, we will beat you to a bloody pulp with our bats. We tried that last year, and it didn't work. You made that bed, now you have to sleep in it.
Thanks
Rusty and the softball crew.
Dear Texas Grandmother,
SHUT UP! And you're not even here yet.
me
Dear Grill Gods,
Please reach down from up on high and bless me with a new gas grill complete with two tiers of warming racks. As a faithful disciple, I believe that You All can grant me this wish as I will continue to preach to the masses about Your Glory.
Your Servant in Charbroil
Rusty
Dear Nearly Sponsor-type People,
Thanks for leading us around by our nose. It was nearly as bad as my love life as there would be a glimmer of hope only to be crushed like a bug on a windsheild. I hope you bastards and your businesses go bankrupt or get audited.
DeadRed Softball
Dear Blake,
You whiny bastard. You got lucky as you had a career hit last night. Count your blessings you dumbshit as we're gunning for you. The bounty stands at a case of beer for whoever takes one off of your dome. No one likes you. Haven't you figured that out yet? Your team wouldn't be that bad but you ruin it for everyone. FFS, your own team doesn't even like you, it's just that you pick up the tab so they can play for free.
Trying to hurt you,
All of the Hesston League
Dear Aggies,
Why can't you group of steroid-laden firemen kick it around like you did last night, when you play us? Dammit, you freaks of nature play like that against us and we might beat you. We'll get you or we'll make you pee in a cup.
RJ
This is getting stupid
It's mid-morning on Wednesday. I'm so ready for our ball game tonight that I'm almost nervous. The only reason that I'm tense is because of last week. Last week, we had to scramble for players before our game, that's never good. I don't think it would have been a problem had Scooter shown up, but he had to take his nephew to baseball practice in Wichita. Flip's buddy didn't show up and that made us kind of scramble for our OF. Of course we put our sticks up twice and we got beat 22-16. If we get our OF in place, we're golden.
Why don't people answer their phones? I mean you have a cell phone, answer it. Or if I leave a message call me back, because if I leave a message it means that's important.
DAMMIT, I just want to play ball.
Overdue for a post
Wow. Don't I just suck as a person? It's been almost a week since my last post. Really I am here. Things are just getting busy and to be quite honest about it, I haven't had a lot to update.
Softball here in town kicked off and like the little bitches we are, we got beat 22-16 by the defending champs. We'll get them sometime. Our Friday game was canceled because the team we were supposed to play, had a bunch of their players gone to regional track. Probably good for them because I think we would have beat them 35-6, and they get spotted 6 runs.
I did finally shoot my turkey and it was a typical adventure. I'd post the details of the hunt, but I'd rather not go to jail. Needless to say, we had to cheat to get the bastard. But he is dead and he is chilling in the freezer.
Softball tonight resulted in us run ruling another team 20-6.
I survived
the weekend.
I wasn't nearly as drunk as my friends. Those bastards consumed a lot of alcohol. Tim started a wrestling match at 3 in the morning.
McLure came into a dark room and said "Are you guys sleeping?" to which I said "Are you kdding me? The lights are off and we're all laying down." "Oh."
I got cold and left with the early risers at 6:30.
Sleeping in a chair isn't that fun.
Sleeping on the floor without a pillow or anytype of blanket, isn't that fun either.
Water is good.
Water is very very good.
The number one thing I learned this weekend:
Yelling "Gimme some fucking waffles bitch!!" does not make the wait staff at waffle house very happy.
Farewell Joey
You were an exceptionally good dog and an even better friend. I'm gonna miss you buddy.
It's weird
not having my dog greet me whenever I walk into the house. My poor pooch is stuck at the vet as they try to help him with his pancreaitis. Last I knew is that Joey wasn't allowed food or water, and I think he's on an IV as Doc is trying to get his pancreas to work again. He's getting up there in his years as he turned 10 this past January. I hope he gets better quick.
Boat Magnets and the like
We ventured forth unto the lake today to try our hand at fishing using the boat. For the record, I love to fish in the boat because we usually catch fish. Today's weather was against us following yesterday's amazing beautiful day.
Do you think we could get such a wonderful day? Uh hello, it's me fishing. Nothing's going to go right. I woke up to it being overcast, windy and chilly. I'm glad I took a pair of sweats with me to wear, because I put them on before we ever got on the water. We put in, loaded up and off we went.
For us, our fishing in the boat consists of trolling. Trolling is where we literally drag diving lures behind the boat and hope fish bite them. Sounds stupid, but works great.
The lake we fish, we know pretty well. That's to say, we know the areas we like to fish. However, some of these areas are underwater (obviously) so we use landmarks on the shore to figure out their exact location. Therein lies the problem as one of our favorite areas we called the barn humps because you could line up three trees on the shore with an old barn and there the humps would be. Thanks to the passage of time, the growth of trees around the old barn and other mitigating factors, we have to search a little bit for the proper location.
Once we find the humps sometimes we through out a buoy or a marker. These markers are oftentimes made of plastic and have some type of string attatched to a large weight. Sometimes an old detergent bottle works, others are actually commercial in day-glo orange color. We call these markers boat magnets.
Why? They attract other boats. I'm serious. We threw one out last summer when we were marking the humps and all of the sudden TWO boats came across the lake to fish right where we were. The attraction power of a boat magnet is the stuff of legends. We've often talked about making decoy boat magnets and just throwing them out in the middle of the lake, in 20 feet of water with nothing around it but flat bottom. I bet the boats would flock to itlike flies do to fresh dog poop.
As for today, it was a good day on the water. We KEPT 14 white bass, 9 wipers and 4 walleyes. Not too bad for northwinds, overcast and cool weather.
Random Monday Thoughts
Today is Monday, and with Monday comes lots of random thoughts.
-I hate Spanish. I would like nothing more than to walk into the "powers that be" office with a flame thrower and show them exactly what I think of their prerequisite course. Seriously, you think maybe a department should tone it down just a little bit when there is only ONE spanish major out of THIRTY-THREE students that are being taught by the same instructor? This is rediculous. I can understand having to take 5 hours of a foreign language, but 15? Are you kidding me? I guess if the whole journalism thing doesn't work out, I can always go work on a roofing crew.
-When the hell did Kansas become Seattle east? I like the sun. My skin likes the sun (Shut it Jay) my yard LOVES the sun but for the last four days, it's been like the Pacific northwest. At this point, I'm convinced that Mother Nature is even worse than the angel controlling my love life. Both of those beings just like to spite me.
-Why can't I make up my mind? Don't worry, no one knows that answer.
-What ever happened to OSL? Last I heard was that she got kicked out of Span 112 because she's that stupid. I guess that's what happens when you drink and do drugs..or don't do drugs and drink...hell, i don't remember what it was.
- Supposedly, there is a baseball game today. HA! Fat freaking chance that will happen. Mi padre y yo are heading up that way if they actually play.
-Our men's league softball season starts in a week from Wednesday. Can I get a Hell Yeah?
-I still hate Spanish.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to kill something for lunch.
It's official
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