Borrowed from Bev!
Much thanks to The Bev for supplying me with a survey.
1. Is your second toe bigger than your first toe?
No, my toes are in the right order of toe hiearchy.
2. Do you have a favorite type of pen?
Blue gel pens
3. Look at your planner for March 17, what are you doing?
That was St. Patty's day and being that i have major restrictions (some self-imposed, some not) on my activities for that day, I went fishing.
4. Do you like Cinnamon toothpaste?
I like most toothpastes. And by like, i mean that I wouldn't frost cookies with them but they serve their purposes quite well.
5. What was the last thing you highlighted?
An NCAA bracket that had all the wrong picks. Funny thing, it was my OWN bracket.
6. What color are your bedroom curtains?
Huh?
7. What color are your eyes?
Depends. Supposedely they change color depending on my mood and it varies from green to brown, mostely they're brown on the inside green on the out and black if i take a racquetball to the face.
8. Have you ever had a black and white cat?
Wow, I think so, but it died a tragic death.
9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on?
Wow, good question. I know..it was a bug in the driveway. I stamped him good.
10. Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?
No. I know a few people who have been there, does that count?
11. Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?
I don't withdraw cash from the ATM, it's called a check card bayyybeee.
12. Who is the last baby that you held?
Wow, I honestly don't remember.
13. Do you know of any twins with rhyming names?
Huey, Dewey and Louie
14. What color are your toenails usually?
Normal colored unless a horse steps on my food.
15. What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago?
My trusty exploder
16. Pick one: Miami Hurricanes or Florida Gators?
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. We don't pick ACC teams.
17. Last time you went to Six Flags?
i’ve never been there. I will echo Bev on this one.
18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house?
Yes.
19. Closest thing to you that is yellow..
a legal pad
20. Last person to give you a business card?
Some video production dude.
21. Who is the last person you wrote a check to?
The China Inn restaurant. Damn good egg rolls.
22. Closest framed picture to you?
One I painted.
23. Last time you had someone cook for you?
No one cooks for me. I have to cook for others.
24. Have you ever applied for welfare?
No.
25. How many emails do you have?
a bajillion. I don't know. I don't count.
26. Last time you received flowers?
Never. I have never received flowers because that would probably be considered an act of attrition considering i'm allergic to most flowers.
28. Do you play air guitar?
Heck yeah, air bass, air drums and air keyboards too. I'm a one-man band.
30. Do you take anything in your coffee?
Caffiene
31. Do you have any Willow Tree figurines?
Any huh?
32. What was your high school’s mascot?
A Swather. Yes you asshats, we're named after farm equipment.
33. Last person you spoke to from high school?
My friend Jaime called me and we went out for coffee and caught up
34. Last time you used hand sanitizer?
Yesterday after getting my hands dirty when i touched a fertilizer bag
35. Would you like to learn to play the drums?
No. I'd rather learn to play the harmonica
36. What color are the blinds in your living room?
there are no blinds. there are drape thingys
38. Last thing you read in the newspaper?
The sports page.
39. What was the last pageant you attended?
You're kidding right?
41. Ever rode in a limo?
Yes. I remember getting in the limo, but then the beer was opened.
42. What is the last thing you stapled?
A paper for class.
43. Did you ever drink Clear Pepsi?
I don't even like Unclear Pepsi
44. Are you ticklish?
sometimes
45. Last time you saw fireworks?
Probably new year's
46. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?
Two springs ago. And dammit, that's almost enough for a sweet tooth run
47. Who is the last person that left you a message & you actually returned their call?
B-rizzle but I didn't answer because i was on the phone with someone else
48. Last time you parked under a carport?
I've never parked under a carport
49. Do you have a black dog?
No. I used to though. Boy I miss him.
50. Do you have pickles in your fridge?
Yes I do. For cheeseburgers
51. Are you an aunt or uncle?
Nope.
52. Who has the prettiest eyes that you know of?
I'm not sure.
53.When is the last time you saw a semi truck?
about 3:00 this afternoon
School?
My little sister is a freshman in high school. Granted this makes me feel old on a daily basis but what can you do when your little sister is 15 years younger than you? As my father refers to her, she's the oops baby.
Anyways, my complaint lies with the school. Apparently, they don't go to school anymore. Why do I know this? Because they're always out of freaking school. There's always a reason too. It's too cold, it's too hot, it's too rainy, it's too windy, it's too sunny, there's too many clouds in the sky.
Heck, I found out this week, they only were starting school at 10:30 to get out at 10:45. Ok, the 10:45 may be a bit of an exaggeration, but they do start at 10:30. It has something to do with testing.
Bitter? Yes I am. When I was in high school, heck when my other sister was in high school, the attendence sheets were long pieces of thick paper with all the days of the week on there. We knew when vacation days were because they were blacked out. During the third 9 weeks, there never were black days. Now they never have full weeks of going to school. The Japanese are so far ahead of us now we'll never catch up.
They have more inservices/teacher work days than well i don't even have an analogy for that. And I know nothing goes on on days like that. How? My buddies Nate and Mark were teachers and so they took a Playstation 2 to their class room because they were all caught up because they TOOK stuff HOME to grade.
Maybe it's our superintendent. And I've got a beef with him because he's so anti-baseball. For me, basketball is my favorite sport followed closely by football, then baseball is a fairly close third. Herein lies the problem. Our school does not have a baseball team. I think there are only two other schools in our league without baseball. It's completely and totally sad. Not because we don't have the sport, but because there is an interest and there is talent. I know there's talent thanks to the summer program which the 15-16 year old team took second at state without a high school program. Our super has said that we don't need baseball. Uh, hello? Buy a clue. I bet if he had sons that wanted to play, we'd have baseball.
Thirdly, I found a new species of fish. It's called a Saber-Fanged Largemouth bass. I've caught many bass in my life. The proper procedure for hook removal is to grasp the fish by the bottom lip and remove the hook. I did exactly that and pulled the hook out. Being the semi-conservationist that I am, I went to release the fish with a flick of my wrist to get him into deeper water. When I did this, his fangs that I did not see tore open a small cut on my thumb. I was shocked as I've never had a bass do that. This must be a new strain or they accidentally crossed a bass with a pirahna.
It's time to play softball again.
Another round of letters
Dear Bob Lutz,
It's a proGRAM, not a proGRUM. Learn the language, because you're on a freaking talk radio show. I'll buy you the dictionary myself.
Thunks,
RJ
Dear Jordan,
It's taking all my self control to not drive over to your station and hack you into itty bitty bits. Oh, that's right. I can't drive because that worthless brake job you did, finally bit me in the ass.
Stuck writing letters,
Rusty
Dear People Who Stand At The Rail And Block Our View Of The Entire Court,
MOVE!
Wondering what's going on in the game,
Rusty
Dear KSHSAA,
First of all, who is the massive moron that designs the bracket page for each program? It's called a map, genius. Are the people that put the city locators on the map of Kansas a team of monkeys with cut out letters, rubber cement and a giant map of Kansas in a room? It has to be inhuman because even a blind person could get a city within 100 fuckin' miles of their actual location.
Second of all, it's time to pull your heads out of your collective asses. Rethink the playoff system so that you don't strand three of the top teams in the state because they're in the same substate when all you care about is getting 8 teams, rather than the top 8 teams. Look at a record dumbasses.
Shaking my head in disbelief,
Me
Dear Annoying Andover Yuppie Parents,
The cries of "Call the Ambulance" were quite overdone. If you didn't notice, (and how could of you, because you, wife, were too busy checking your camera and you, husband, were too busy videoing your son doing nothing except missing a free throw OFF THE BACKBOARD) the officials called an intentional foul. A technical foul would have been overkill. Plus the players shook hands after the play. By the way, I hope you got a lot of pictures, because your team went one and done,
Watching you scream for no reason,
Rusty
Dear Official With Sideburns,
Was that the first time all season you had blown your whistle? Is the little ball inside the whistle worn out because you made all the calls in that first game?
Can't shake the ringing in my ears,
Rusty
Dear Billy Packer,
I can only hope that Henderson from Duke is "going for the ball," and cracks you in the mouth, not allowing you to speak for the entire NCAA tourney. By the way, 97 percent of the country doesn't like you.
Wishing a flagrant foul into your jaw,
Rusty
Dear Leapydog.com,
BASTARDS! I hope you get the computer version of ecoli, or eboli, or salmonella and can't shake it, spitting out pages and pages of worthless drivel during all of the NCAA tourney.
Dear Mama Nature,
I still hate March.
I have always hated March.
Rusty
